2018 was a hard one for me. I lost my grandma and experienced true crippling grief for the very first time. This grief reignited my anxiety and depression to a level I hadn’t experienced in years causing weight gain and tested the relationships I have with others and myself. I felt down, unmotivated, and not myself. I cried at any thought of my sweet grandmother and I longed for the answers to grief. Lisa, my therapist, must have told me a million and a half times that there is no correct way to grieve. I longed for a 12 step program for managing and overcoming grief.
But as I sit here today, reflecting on the highest highs and lowest lows of 2018 I can truly say I am thankful. 2018 taught me more about myself than any other of my 25 years combined. The relationships I have with Sam, my family, and my friends have deepened and I am so grateful for the support I have received throughout this year. These deepened relationships, a bout of therapy, and some new medication have me seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I can’t wait to see what 2019 has in store for me.
Transparency with my blog has always been important for me. My physical and mental health journeys are something that I want to be open and honest about so that even one person out there knows they are not alone. I am not 100% okay yet. But I am getting there and I know that it is okay to not be okay.
I promise 2018 was not all bad, though. Here’s what I did this past year.
I got to go to Atlanta and Nashville for the first time. I attended the Gluten Free and Allergen Friendly Expo (now the Nourished Festival) and got to meet some of my blogger friends in real life. I launched my #GFAF line and sold out everything but the stickers (because I bought an OBNOXIOUS amount of them.) Buy a sticker or 100 here. I tried some new things like acupuncture and created a YouTube channel. And finally, I got to grow my platform and connect with even more of you all around the world!!
Adios, 2018. Let’s do this, 2019.
If you or someone you love is experiencing anxiety, depression, or other mental illnesses please refer to the resources below. Help is out there. <3
National Hopeline Network
(800) SUICIDE
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
(800) 273-TALK (8255)
National Youth Crisis Hotline
(800) 442-HOPE (4673)
National Domestic Violence Hotline
(800) 799-7233
Rape, Sexual Assault, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN)
(800) 656-HOPE
National Help Line for Substance Abuse
(800) 262-2463
Trans Lifeline 877-565-8860
The Trevor Project 1-866-488-7386
Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention
(800) 931-2237
Better Help -Online Therapy
www.betterhelp.com
(Allows you to apply for financial aid)